Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Bedtime Story or Cautionary Tale? You Decide.

Once upon a time, there were four Bears that lived in the woods with their three pets: Ginger the lazy chocolate lab; Clifford, the extremely needy cat; and Mel, the good natured leopard gecko with a very long life expectancy. One day, Lovely Mama Bear and Precious Baby Bear went to the pet store to buy cat litter, meal worms and dog food for the aforementioned creatures. There happened to be an adoption fair at the store, and Precious Baby Bear immediately fell in love with a little homeless pup named Pepper. Having the extremely large heart that she does (and secretly being in love with Pepper, too), Lovely Mama Bear agreed to bring Pepper home to their cozy Bear house in the woods.

Once home with Pepper, Lovely Mama Bear and Precious Baby Bear introduced Pepper to the rest of the Bears. Stuffy Old Papa Bear said in his meanest, grumpiest Papa Bear voice, "We already HAVE a dog. And a cat. AND A LIZARD!" and stormed into the garage to hammer on something. Moody Teen Bear just rolled his eyes and put his headphones back on.

Lovely Mama Bear and Precious Baby Bear didn't know what to do! Precious Baby Bear said tearfully, "Pepper is ours now, right? Even though Stuffy Old Papa Bear and Moody Teen Bear hate her?"

"Oh of course, sweetie. She's part of the family now," Lovely Mama Bear reassured.

No one was thrown out of the house that night, but Stuffy Old Papa Bear made it very clear that all Pepper-related responsibilities would fall on Lovely Mama Bear's shoulders. Lovely Mama Bear dutifully took on the role of single parent to the helpless orphan and had her trained perfectly in no time. Well, almost. There were a few minor accidents. But Lovely Mama Bear cleaned up after all of them. And then there was the nervous habit Pepper had of chewing on all things wooden. As in wooden stairs, wooden coffee tables, wooden beds. Lovely Mama Bear skillfully patched them with wood-filler, sanded, and stained them all, until they were like new. Then there was the mysterious case of the hives Pepper developed all over her body, rendering her puffy and elephant-dog-like. And of course, who could forget the periodic nervous breakdowns she would have? Frightened for NO apparent reason, she would curl up in a ball on the couch and shake and shiver for hours. And did I mention the accidents? It got so out of control, Stuffy Old Papa Bear renamed her Pee-per, well, for obvious reasons. No one was finding it cute. Not even her biggest fans.

But just when Lovely Mama Bear was getting discouraged and wondering if it might be time for her to "develop an allergy", things suddenly turned around! Believe it or not, Moody Teen Bear was the easiest to win over. He and Pepper happened to be outside at the same time one day, which was a fortuitous coincidence. In no time, Moody Teen Bear was chasing her around the yard and playing fetch with her. He was impressed by her actual dog-like qualities that Ginger, the lazy lab never fully embraced.

But Stuffy Old Papa Bear wouldn't budge. Until... Well, still to this day, no one knows how Pee-per (which at this point has lovingly been shortened to Peeps) managed to bore her way into Stuffy Old Papa Bear's cold heart, but you can see for yourself that she has. Who knows what, exactly, makes her so irresistible? Regardless, none of the Bears could imagine life without her. Every night, as Stuffy Old Not So Horrible Papa Bear goes to sleep, he reaches over and gives little Peeps a kiss and a pat.

And so, they all lived very happily, and messily, and fur-fully ever after.


Kristina P. said...

Isn't that the way it always works?

Beadiful Things said...

Sweet. And literally as I was reading this, I had to turn around and tell my 3 year old not to yank on the cat's tail.

stefanie said...

Definitely bedtime story.

Good N Crazy said...

First. THE SHOES from below. THE SHOES. OH my.

Now. The dog love story.

It is sooooo how it would go at our has. Has gone. THAT cat? He says, is YOUR cat I don't want nuthin to do with her. So I scoop, and feed and pet and love.

AND THAT CAT? Sleeps in hubby's lap every. single. night. for the news. Grrr.

Eudea-Mamia said...

Awww, that almost makes me want to give into Oldest's begging for a pup - almost.

I need a full year of sleeping through the night before this Grumpy Mama Bear adopts anything else!