Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Cat Tale

Our sweet little kitten, Sassafras, recently came down with some sort of eye thing. So, I did what any responsible pet owner would do, and tried to resolve the issue on my own, rather than do something crazy like take her to the vet. You may not know this, but veterinary medicine is a scam. I found this out a few years ago, when the vet suggested I give my dog valium (long story). Here I had been buying all these expensive official pet drugs for years, only to learn they were the same as people drugs, but with expensive official pet drug names.  Ever since, I have been operating under the assumption that pets are basically just humans with fur. So, take note:  When your pets get sick, you can just do to them what you would do to your kid. Or your grandma. Whichever one weighs less.

So, I pulled out my Armageddon kit filled with emergency tampons, Ensure, and drug samples to see if I could find anything that might cure Sassy's eye. Thanks to Moody Teen's disgusting bout of pink eye a few years back, there was some ointment that was sure to do the trick (regardless of what the expiration date might have indicated).

After about three days of treatment, Sassy was slowly getting better. But not quickly enough for my impatient family. They were all concerned and kept begging me to take her to the vet. I was confident in my treatment plan and didn't waiver. I insisted that due to the whole species exchange rate, the medicine might take a little longer to work.

The next morning, we all noticed that her eye had gotten significantly worse! The boys were distraught and blaming me, and my husband was all prepared to launch into I-Told-You-So mode, when suddenly, I noticed something strange...

"Poor" little one-eyed Sassy was favoring the wrong eye. Didn't think we'd notice, huh, Sass?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Teen Talk: Survivors' Stories

So here we are... alive. A little brain-dead, but alive. Since I have apparently lost the ability to write, I thought I'd break out the camera. I was lucky enough to score an exclusive interview with a couple of survivors of the Mommy Wars. Keep in mind I had only one take, as they were threatening to unionize.

I have been more than a little fixated on all of the angst over the standard, kid-raising fare, that always seems to result in finger-pointing, judging, and general mommy self-righteousness. Breast v Bottle, Cloth v Disposable... you know what I mean. I just don't get it, but maybe I am too far removed. But then I think, maybe it does matter, and I am simply justifying my own actions. That's when I decided to find out from those whose little lives had been molded by my decisions...  for better or for worse.

The verdict? Well, although it appears on video that I really screwed up, since my boys can barely string two words together, the truth is they are awesome, and they made it. They are funny, they are kind(ish), they are not in jail (yet), and they brush their teeth. What more could a regular ol' non-green, reluctant breastfeeder, epidural-loving, tv-watching advocate mother ask for?