I don't know if it was residual anger from the jowl diagnosis, or what, but I managed to get in a bit of a scuffle with a lovely couple at the gym today. I should preface the story with some background info...
I am a former showdown queen. I have made store managers cry, several random people threaten me with physical violence, and a water filtration salesman run from my house in fear of his life. It used to be that I would let my emotions rule my actions, causing the gloves to come off rather quickly, and the fur to fly. However, I have mellowed in my old, saggy-jowled age, and tend to let most things slide. But not today. Oh, no.... Not today.
I guess the details don't really matter. A guy took my spot in class and I politely pointed it out to him. Instead of moving, he ignored me. I will admit that I then began talking loudly to my husband about how this guy took my saved spot. His wife turned around and spoke to me, irritating me with her stupid comments. Sorry, but if you engage me, be prepared, right? RIGHT?! (please, somebody say "right!")
So things kind of escalated from there. I made a couple of slightly sarcastic remarks to the wife. Then the perpetrator/husband started in on me. My hubs did the whole, "If you get into with my wife, you get into it with me!" He may have even pushed up his sleeves. The husband/perpetrator actually ended up running off in a huff, leaving his wife alone in the class. She then proceeded to try to bait me throughout the class, and I basically ignored her. Apparently, it had taken her over a month to convince him to come to the gym with her, and I had sent him packing, never to return. Really?! Seems to me, he has bigger issues, if his status at the gym was so fragile.
I felt completely justified in my behavior at the time, but am starting to feel guilty. I am wondering why I keep thinking the right thing to have done was to not say anything and not stand up for myself. That doesn't seem fair.
Anyway, happy Saturday.
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29 comments:
WOw, wish I could have seen that!
I think you did the right thing. Dont let anyone get in your face without sticking up for yourself... thats what hubby always tells me !
Your so funny....I am SO not like you. I back down from any and all confrontation. So I have no advice....but I do LOVE hearing about your "incidents".
RIGHT!!!
lol I'm so that way!!! I always go off at the mouth and go home feeling like I shouldn't have said anything at all.
I think you did alright though. If he was new to the gym he really should have given you your spot.
Did the wife say "I'm going to have to teach you to defend yourself" to the husband? Since I am good at pissing off moms and you are good at pissing off everyone else, maybe we should get together and see what kind of chaos we can create! It would be dangerous - I am a great smart ass and don't back down easily. Together, we can rule the world!
You were completely in the right! My DH would have said, "You better not mess with me, my wife will kick your a$$!"
Way better than what I do - slink off, come up with comeback lines in my car, and then not respect myself for not defending myself.
You go girl!
It's the gym, not your church. There are rules. He needs to learn them, if his candy a$$ ever makes it back.
(I've got my blow up Deb doll out in the car ready to go to dinner - we'll raise a toast to you my butt-kickin' friend) Em
I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about. To me, that would be like someone crowding in front of me in line...I am so going to blast them. If they ask me if they can go ahead, thats fine...but don't take my spot or my seat without asking. lol.
Ginger
You did nothing wrong. I use to fly off the handle to, but I honestly wish I could have been in your class today.
Happy Weekend :)
I just found your blog and it is a great read! What were the other couples doing in your class? I would have been laughing my ass off if I saw this whole thing going on. Thats just me though, I love to people watch and just laugh at their expense!
Wow, you are so awesome! I hate confrontations and wish I was like you:) Can I be you when I grow up?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA It's never right not to stick up for ourselves. My husband LOVES confrontation. He lives for it. So, I just let him do it:) If you lived next to me, you could do it for me too. bAHAHAHAHA
I can't find the balance either. I defend myself really passive-aggresively or not at all. I would like to find the middle, but I don't have the self control.
Good story though! :)
Yes I'm one of the people saying "RIGHT!" And bring on the confrontations....I'm all over 'em. But what's gonna happen when WE get into a confrontation???
:-)
Damn. I"m going to have to blow my cover here. I'm not like that. . . I have my moments, but I would have given up my spot. . . It's a GYM....I wouldn't want to get his blood and sweat on my knuckles. . . . that's all I"m sayin'.
Hah. You remind me of me, but instead of my husband saying "If you get into with my wife, you get into it with me!"he usually sticks up for the other people. Unless it's one of those rare days I'm not being a bitch. Anyway, you should always stick up for yourself. Always!
I have seen people come to BLOWS over their spot in a class at the gym. I am more of a backer-downer...because I am a big chicken.
So are puppet wrinkles better than jowls? yeah... I guess so.
And I've found myself more willing to engage in showdowns lately ... we had a little battle over a taxi on a recent vacation and I couldn't believe I stood up for myself but THEY were wrong!!!!! So you go girl!
My husband is always afraid I will get myself killed. I cannot stay quiet so I think you did the right thing.
You got in her face...ah man I miss all the good stuff, LOL!! You should poison your hubby, just a little for such a comment!!:)
I say "RIGHT!" You and I could rule the world, sister! Do not feel guilty! Stand up for your place in the gym! Don't let your saggy jowls diagnosis prevent you from giving those people "what for!" Let your irritable jowl syndrome work for you!
I will stand up for myself most of the time, but in this situation it depends... did you set the spot up with equipment & things and he took it while you went away for a moment or was he just standing where you usually stand? If someone is just standing where I usually stand or on the bike I usually use I let it go. It's not really *mine* as a possession to claim, it's just habit on my part. I just get their earlier next time. But if I have set up a board and weights and things and someone takes it while I go fill my water bottle, then I say something.
Once confrontation is in motion there is no backing down though.
I think you said it best yesterday. we are cut from the same cloth. Only difference is I go home and think of how I could have improved the thrashing I just gave for the next poor soul who did not think I would stand up for myself. Absolutely you did the right thing.
I guess I'm the kind of person who just shuts up and doesn't say anything. You didn't know that he was dragged here in the first place, so don't feel guilty about it.
You just summed up in a nutshell why I started a blog called What I Should Have Said.
I don't have the spheres down yonder to stand up to people like that.
That and I'm shorter than most people.
You go, girl!
HI! It's me...Devil's Advocate. I didn't read any of the other comments, I just want to give you my 2 cents - which wont even pay for restylane let alone a face lift - but here goes.
Was that 'spot' so important that you felt like you had to go all Norma Rae on them? I only ask because if it was, perhaps a less aggressive way of telling him/them this would have been better. And maybe wouldn't have left you feeling so guilty.
Remember, I'm only playing Devil's Advocate. I'm the same woman who tried to beat the snot out of the Target girl who wouldn't get out of my aisle.
But it's fun to play the other side when it's someone else who's being aggressive.
Okay, I think we need a new "blog feature", "meltdown mondays" or something like that. Your stroy brought so many of my better moments to mind.
BTW, I started working full time at my gym, with hubs "retired" and all, I will have a few stories to share as well.
I miss you, but can't get near the computer these days.
oh man - you sound like me - temper gets in the way too often!!
Jowls? Oh my.
Have you ever thought of a career in assertiveness training? I may take your course. I cannot confront unless someone I love has been slighted, or it involves money. It would be good to be a bit more well rounded, you know, around the jowls...
RIGHT!
;)
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