Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Just file this one under, "But it seemed like such a good idea at the time." Please... It's the story of my life. They might as well go ahead and engrave it on my tombstone now.

So, I thought I'd be all mom-like and fun and take the stupid dog in the car with me to pick up Moody Teen at the bus stop. She was outside anyway, and she always makes Moody so happy (and he needs all the help he can get these days!). She doesn't normally ride in the car, well, because I never take her anywhere. And it's no secret that she has major mental health issues, but how disastrous could a quick trip to the bus stop be?

She happily jumped in the car without any coaxing from me. However, the minute she was in the driver's seat, she started to freak out (red flag #1 that I stupidly ignored). Suddenly, she grew very still and refused to budge. I tried to shove her over to the console, but she started to growl every time I touched her (nice. ignored red flag #2). So, since I was in a hurry, I just sat down with her wedged in between me and the seat. I was basically 2 inches from the steering wheel. Meanwhile, she started maniacally shaking. And shedding. It was like that pathetic little Charlie Brown Christmas tree, where all the pine needles explode off the tree at once (obviously red flag #3, but at this point, I was fully entrenched in the mission).

I pulled up to the bus stop and yanked her into my lap. She was all shaky and weird and started yawning repeatedly. Seriously. So she was yawning and yawning, and shaking and shedding, and I was starting to panic a little bit. Has anyone ever heard of an animal actually being possessed? I mean, I know, intellectually, that the chances of the dog being possessed are fairly slim, but I am really bad about buying into all that Armageddon hype, and what better way to begin the final battle of Good vs Evil, than to have the Devil steal the souls of all the dogs on Earth? 

So I started to look around the street for other dogs, to see if they were acting suspicious, but no such luck. Well, then Pepper started to gag. And what's even better than gagging? That's right! Puking! I managed to push her head over to the console so everything was contained (I had perfected that technique once before when driving in the car with my other dog. Do I just never learn?). 

At this point, the bus had arrived, and Moody comes strolling up to the car, completely confused. The plan had totally backfired and I just wanted to get home to check the news for swarms of locusts or blood in the rivers. 

We all made it home alive and of course the minute she was back on solid ground, Pepper returned to normal. At least I accomplished my original goal of making Moody Teen happy. He thought the whole thing was hilarious... Until I sent him back out to clean the car!

34 comments:

Under the Influence said...

Yuck - the puke and having to clean up the puke!

Alex the Girl said...

That's why we have kids...to clean the puke (I love that word...puke...just sayin it outloud)

The Panic Room said...

If my parents tried to make me clean puke out of the car I would have probably acted out as insane as the possessed dog and made an even bigger mess of puke.

mommy4life said...

I bet cleaning up puke helped Moody to be more moody....LOL

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

OH - Vomit duty over there!!!
Poor dog was car sick!

Lisa said...

oh dear- dog vomit and possessed pooches !
i would let the teenstranger walk !

Beadiful Things said...

Bleah! I can't put my cat in the cat carrier (which we ONLY do when he has to go to the vet, something I avoid like the plague; he'd have to be at death's door) without him pooping himself. And not a solid poop either. A panicky, terrified diarrhea-like poop. That's always a fun cleanup.

Jenn@mylifewiththecrazies said...

uh oh... that doesnt sound so good... the best planned intentions... luckily our dogs ride in the car very well!!

Tabitha in Bliss said...

Ewww@doggy puke!
my puppy son sheds when he gets in the car, but I still have no idea why.

Kristina P. said...

This had me cringing the entire time!!

J9 said...

Oh, now THAT was funny! Luckily, my dog LOVES car rides and I take him all over the place just to keep me company.

Summer said...

Oh fun times, Deb. This is why I don't have dogs. Or moody teens. for now anyway.

Ginger said...

So I guess you weren't having a good day? lol.
Our dog gets upset if we leave without him. You would think he was a whiney kid.

Sera said...

Man, talk about a good plan gone bad. That just sucks. I would have freaked out. Glad he was at least happy until you got home. :)

CaJoh said...

Many dogs have motion sickness. I don't know what to do about it since our dog just loves to stick his head out the window and doesn't appear to be too greatly effected.

Kimberly said...

Poor doggy! Poor you! Its just one of those things even if something seems okay and then turns bad you just follow through anyways. At least you completed your mission and it wasnt all for nothing if Moody Teen got a laugh out of it!

Young Momma said...

LOL!!! That's awful!! My hubs first pit bull had a tendency to do the exact same thing, except she insisted on going everywhere with us!!! I think she learned when she was like 5 years old that it wasn't a good idea. Glad you didn't have to clean it though! lol

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped in to say hi!

Bee and Rose said...

You poor thing! A puking possessed dog! Wowza! I love how you never gave up! You just hung right in there! Good for you;)

Beth said...

Dog chunks! Ewwwww! My dog hurls every time we put her in the car for more than 10 minutes. I swear she gags herself.

And if I were your child and I had to clean up puke, why, I'd be the happiest kid in town! Great idea!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Why is it that dog puke seems worse than kid puke? Any puke in the car is not a fun job to clean up, though...

Eudae-Mamia said...

LOL - the Charlie Brown Christmas tree analogy. Girl, you can paint a picture!!

Poor Pepper. Poor Mama of Moody Teen.

Confess - the whole time you were thinking this is going to make great blog fodder? ;-)

Harlene said...

I love you!

Dieter and she sound like a match made in heaven!

Missy said...

Sorry, but that is too funny! Don't you hate red flags?

Heather of the EO said...

THIS is what our dog does. She gets car sick over her nerves. We have to keep her in the FRONT seat and she's BIG. And many times...PUKE.

I'm so sorry. That's just SO not fun.

stefanie said...

ugh.

Lee of MWOB said...

Oh Deb - what a story. I have a VERY clear visual in my mind of you going through this. And how is it that UTI over there is always the first commenter everywhere I go? Do you sleep girl?? :-)

BY the way - I'd rather have kid puke go dripping down my cleavage than dog puke anywhere near me!!!

Wendyburd1 said...

Ew!! Poor moody teen, I can't clean throw up...I gag and almost throw up! LOL!

Is the dog okay? That sounds scary!

Jenn@mylifewiththecrazies said...

Deb, I have awarded you on my blog!! Here's the link!!
http://mylifewiththecrazies.blogspot.com/2009/04/mish-mash-of-craziness-and-my-freebies.html

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

A car sick doggie. Ew. Im glad you got moody teen to clean it up....good thinking!

Straight to Your Hart said...

I would have gotten a great laugh back watching my girls yak as they cleaned up the mess..sick and twisted, I know...but my horns are out today!!

So the halo version...poor little thing..I wish I could have anxiety when getting into the car to go shopping...:)

Jenners said...

I'm sorry ... this was just so funny. I'm with Moody Teen on this one ... it is hilarious! And, of course, I don't have to clean out the car.

Kacey R. said...

I laughed ALL THE WAY through this post. Thanks! And I'm sorry that your dog's freak out provided a source of entertainment for me. I do feel a little guilty that your Moody Teen had to clean up the puke but I also thought how fabulous that is going to be when my kids are older. {They are already moody LOL}

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