Friday, December 12, 2008

Never Try to Out-Fox A Fox

I will spare you the details of how I discovered what I am about to share, but let's just say I am the proud mother of an attempted grade-forger. Well, of course, I busted him immediately, laughed at his ignorance, and reminded him of the following...

Ah, my dear, young, stupid grasshopper:

1) If you really wanted to be a successful grade-alterer, you should have paid more attention to your penmanship over the years.

2) Blue ink over black type is a pathetic and dead give away.

3) Once you go down that road, there is no turning back. You have to keep track of which grades you changed, and what you changed them to. It's almost as complicated as math.

4) This one you know already, which completely dumbfounds me... Your teachers email progress reports weekly. I already knew the truth.

5) Please...You have the high school hi-jinks mastermind (that's HSHM, for short) for a mother. What is it those crazy kids like to say these days? Ah yes... Been there. Done that. 

6) Your punishment will not be for the grade, because in all actuality it isn't that bad and it is only mid-quarter. You will have plenty of opportunity to visit your teacher after school and possibly be introduced to a tutor. The punishment is for the deceit. I am not a big fan of withholding/lying about information. Not good, Mister Not-So-Smarty-Pants. Why don't you take a look at that geometry book while you are sitting in your bedroom with no phone/tv/computer all weekend? You just might learn something. 

7) Oh, and before you try to trick your substitute teacher into believing that YOU are the substitute already assigned, and she can leave and enjoy her afternoon, please see #5.



25 comments:

Harlene said...

Between this post and the previous you have renewed my determination to survive. I can not thank you enough!

In the last 72 hours i have spent significant time at juvenile court and with a special detective for three of my boys.

Let's just say I was depleted, and then I moved on to grateful it wasn't for anything worse. Criminal mischief.

I have lot's of thoughts and would love to do a post about it, but the grandparents read my blog-ugh!

Again, thank you thank you!

jill jill bo bill said...

I love you, Deb. That is so funny, yet I know so darn frustrating!!! You are doing the right thing about the deception. And you really did that in HS? BRILLIANT!!! And i will share it with my kids when they are 26.

Jay @halftime lessons said...

This is partially my fault...I should be trying to teach him better.

I spent most of high school and college developing my techniques, and now I am pretty good. In fact, to look at my marriage certificate, you would actually believe me to be married.


You gonna call me or WHAT?

Straight to Your Hart said...

Ahh...he needs to call me..tehe!!

Tenakim said...

I hear ya! My almost 14 year old (YIKES) brought me a detention the other day.. I thought, I've only signed 2 infractions, my husband 1,but you need 4 to make a detention... FORGERY!!! My husband is a policeman so we threatened him with calling the authorities and explained (and exaggerated) the seriousness of the situation. I'm not above lame threats that I won't follow through on to scare the shit out of a kid!

Lee the MWOB Queen said...

Oh yeah - you rebel fox posing as a substitute teacher - brilliant. I myself would have never been brave enough to try that one!

Happy Friday.

Kelli @ Gohn Crazy said...

Oh my my.

Tony said...

Young Skywalker needs some time with Yoda. Tisk tisk. Let him spend a weekend with Jay. Yeah that's a good idea. LOL

Mariah said...

I feel your frustration, but I was cracking up.

Aria said...

Oh Silly Rabbit, Tricks are really for Mama's... Buh-Sted son...

Kristina P. said...

Oh, so funny!! I'm glad you don't live by me. I wouldn't want to see him in my place of business.

Brenda Jean said...

Gotta love those progress reports. Did no one tell him that MOMS KNOW ALL? It's the digital age--we have spies everywhere. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (that was the evil mom laugh).

Beadiful Things said...

Muahahaha!

I never got away with this in high school, but I did succeed one time in college! It involved scissors, surgical precision, and a photocopy machine. If I'd had to rely on my penmanship, I'd have failed for sure (the class and the lying).

CaJoh said...

I guess that's why my mother never bothered with grades— I had a C average in High School, but had an A- average in College go figure

Eternal Sunshine said...

I tell my kids "If there is a trick to be played, I have already done it, so don't think for one second you can pull one over on me."

The little ones are still dumbfounded at how I know everything, but that doesn't stop them from trying stuff.

Pfft. Amateurs.

Young Momma said...

Oooohhh that is just ... perfect! lol My mom did that once. I put my report card away, just for the sake of having somewhere to put it. I came home the next day to a completely bare bedroom. No tv, no computer, no phone, not even my alarm clock - cause it played the radio. Yep. Then I had to earn each item back, one by one. ~sigh~ It took me like two months, lol!

She wasn't even that mad about the grades (although they were pretty bad), she was just pissed that I had the nerve to think I could "hide" it from her. Which was so not the point of putting it in that shoe box under my bed! lol

dana wyzard said...

(a) you taught your future forger to always match inks
(b) you made his school book part of his punishment
(c) you have more people leaving you comments when you abandon them, than I do after loyally posting over 600 posts.

I might not be liking you right now. hurumph!

stefanie said...

Ah, number six. I recognize you.

amelia bedelia said...

I had my mother's signature down to a pat in high school! Yes, I was bad at one time in my life.

Wendyburd1 said...

You get a WEEKLY report?! Man my parents just got a quarterly report card, no way to keep track of grades on tests or homework! LOL

Lindsay said...

What a riot! It's amazing that kids think their parents are so stupid when we can see through their tricks so easy.

Oh the things I have to look forward to when little Livers gets older.... I hope she inherits her Mama's goody two-shoes gene ;)

Joy said...

Oh girl that is so funny.

I fear my children becoming teenage middle/high schoolers. I know what hubs and I did in high school because we were doing all those bad things together!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

OM - this is HILARIOUS!! You poor thin g- but so funny - at lest you can laugh about it!!

Candice said...

My first grader tried to forge MY signature on one of her papers that I was supposed to sign.

I mean, I know my handwriting sucks and all, but it didn't go over very well.

Be thankful your child at least waited until highschool to be a liar. ;)

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