Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Seventh Sign of the Apocalypse

Those horsemen better saddle up because either the world is coming to an end, or I have officially lost my mind (once again).

My husband is quite an amazing gift-giver. He is stealthy and he is generous. Anything I want is mine... and he doesn't even need hints!

So last night, in an apparent act of desperation, he flat out asked me what I want for Christmas. I gave him my standard answer, "Ohhhh, nothing," with that slight martyr inflection, inferring that there might be some little ol' thing that I could think of to put on my list.

And then he let it drop. I began brainstorming. Panic set in. There really wasn't anything I could think of that would put a little extra spring in my step. Except...

It is no secret that I am not so hot in the kitchen. I don't like to cook, and I really don't have a problem with that. That being said, I have been inexplicably drawn to some cool looking non-stick cookware at Target. But honestly, as much as I think I would love it, and how desperately I want to believe that it will make me enjoy cooking, I fear I will just be depressed on Christmas morning when I sit down in front of a really big, heavy box filled with a bunch of Teflon-coated metal just waiting to be used. Which means I would have to actually cook. Ick.

So maybe me wanting cookware isn't the seventh sign of the Apocalypse. Maybe the Pale Horse of Death, as the embodiment of my family's starvation from my lack of cooking (yet abundance of diamond-wearing), is the seventh sign.

Sounds reasonable to me.

10 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Definitely sounds reasonable.

jori-o said...

Haha! You can join my club--I lost my mind a long time ago and it's NEVER been back.

And when did it become okay to want such things for Christmas?? I got a vacuum a couple of years ago that made me happier than The Year Of The Cabbage Patch.

Oy.

Under the Influence said...

I read "abundance of diamond wearing" and with that, the rest of the post was forgotten.

mama-face said...

I know this probably scares the bejeebies out of you, but I swear we are related. Maybe the fact that I say this every time I comment would be reason enough to scare you.

Do not get the pans for Christmas...you will regret it. Just buy them for yourself this weekend.

:)

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

Last year I asked for Rachel Ray's cookware and I LOVE it... oh, and some Juicy Couture cologne which I also love LOL

Tony@ That One Paticular Harbor said...

Deb, I am coming to your house for dinner as my extensive travels has seemed to dwindle my cooking desires after all these years of being the house chef. Oh my what shall I do? Come to your home. many hugs hope all si well.

Em said...

My vote - sell some of the diamonds and hire a chef :-)

Hubs announced, with a big smile, that he's got a list a mile long for me - no more ideas needed.

Dude, it's Dec. 1!

I'm pretty sure he's having an affair. Do you have a golf club I may borrow?

michelle said...

The Pale Rider comes in the form of Teflon! Stay away from it. It's death. Go for cast iron or that gorgeous heavy Le Creust stuff.

But NO TEFLON!!!

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I just want my hubby to know what I want. I hate asking him for things. I know it is so typically woman of me but I can't help it. I might be weird but I personally would love a new set of pans for Christmas.

Jenners said...

I do think wanting Teflon as your "big exciting" Christmas gift is a sign of a personal apocalypse. But that is just me.