Saturday, December 5, 2009

Purging

I tell you what... I am pretty tired of looking inward when things get complicated with people. It can't always be me, can it? Do I really need to just be more tolerant and patient and compassionate when others are acting selfish and silly?

Today I want to feel like the injured party, for once. Today I want to be annoyed that everyone around me is being childish. Today I want to feel secure enough in myself to know that I am taking a stand and saying what I want and calling people on their accusations and careless words.

You'd think that the people around me would think twice about judging others and calling people cruel names, such as "alcoholic", especially having one in their own immediate family, and all. You'd think they'd pause before putting others down, yet congratulating themselves on their apparent redemption, while their deep-seated dysfunction remains firmly intact.

Maybe miracles do happen, but I am not buying it. Sorry.

I am irate. I am sad. I am annoyed. I want it to be Tuesday, so I will have my house all to myself and I can finally exhale and relax and try to get these crazy people out of my mind.

Maybe then I will go back to feeling guilty and bad and put the weight of the world back on my own shoulders. For now, I will mope and whine. Maybe I'll even do a little judging myself.

14 comments:

mama-face said...

Your first sentence...oh how I relate. And oh how I relate to purging. A daily event. That's what blogging is for as I understand it. So Sorry for the crap going on around you.

J9 said...

Remeber to breathe, know it isn't all you, and that you can only controll your reaction (if you choose to do so). My holidays have become far less stressful because of the one time I walked out on everybody when they were being idiots. I called them on it, told them I was leaving before saying something I'd likely regret, and left. It feels good to know I stood up for myself and will agian.

michelle said...

I always get really b*#chy and critical when I'm feeling particularly unhappy with my lot in life. So when others around me are being nasty I don't engage. We're grown-ups right? If I'm being nasty I don't expect it to be tolerated. And vice versa

Under the Influence said...

Don't be afraid to walk out of the room. It works. On the other hand, don't be afraid to speak your mind if that's what you need to do. That works, too!

CaJoh said...

It's never just "you". It takes two to tango. But yes, I agree sometimes we want to be the one hurt rather than the one wondering if we were the one who caused the hurt.

The best of skill with your purge.

Quirkyloon said...

I never judge because I am perfect!

A perfect nutcase!

Sorry Sweetie! {hugs}

I think I need to purge too.

But how does one purge oneself? Yeah, I'm ready for a new personality makeover.

Gives new meaning to The Biggest Loser, eh?

Ha!

Em said...

Less than 48 hours to go. You're in the homestretch!!!!!

That's why we have "family." Because if they depended on finding actual friends, they'd be SOL.

Hugs. E

Sera said...

Let Tuesday get here quickly! It looks like you've already gone inward, and you KNOW that it's other people around you. I say - no need to beat yourself up. And don't waste too much time letting stupid people ruin your day or your mood. I'm so sorry. :(

Harlene said...

With you in spirit!

Life in the mom lane said...

Hang in there- tomorrow is Tuesday! At least you have an outlet to vent... here! :)

Debbie said...

I am so sorry you are feeling so stressed. I hope things will ease up soon.

Elaine said...

F**k me; you're good.

Bee and Rose said...

I hear ya, sister...hang in there! It's almost Tuesday!

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