Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Armageddon II

Oh, who am I kidding? There won't be any grandiose display of diamonds or cookware under the tree this year (see Part I), and that is just fine with me. My self-preservation strategy this year is to simply ignore Christmas. Call it a desperate measure to keep the anxiety in check, if you'd like.

So, speaking of the Apocalypse coupled with an unhealthy dose of stress...

Those four ominous horsemen have been replaced by an elderly couple, driving a red Toyota Camry cross-country, due on my doorstep in about 10 hours. And if you think I am exaggerating their power to incite mass hysteria and plagues of locust, you obviously weren't around when the whole Texas showdown, precipitated by my brother's near-death experience/alcohol intervention, took place.

Take cover, my people. Take cover.

13 comments:

Life in the mom lane said...

I began leaving helpful hints about 5 years ago about how much I love massages etc. and hubby was paying attention because I've received some very nice spa gift certificates.... way better than pot'n'pans :)
Sorry to hear mass hysteria is soon upon you.. you need to drink heavily to get through the ordeal...

Kristina P. said...

Wow, well good luck!

Sassy Britches said...

May the force be with you.

Run; run like the wind!

(Take your pick).

Under the Influence said...

Oh.My.

Em said...

Ah ha - now I get it.

It begs repeating - Hubs can write you a prescription, right?

Seriously.

michelle said...

OK. So maybe Teflon body lotion. So the folks' powers and locust will bounce right off you and slide off your skin.

Yes. Teflon body lotion.

kel said...

omg.. I am laughing my ass off at the four horsemen line... i have missed this blog!!!

Wendyburd1 said...

Ahhh the 4 Horsemen...good luck Deb!

Lovin Lane said...

Oh my, I truly feel extremely guilty receiving such wonderful laughs from your insanity... But Thank you... I really hope you are blessed this week in the mist of all the hysteria.... and yes, OMG when I read the Lyle lovett article who couldnt love that... Thanks...

Lovin Lane said...

Your blog about your son becoming a teen is awesome...... Loved it....

Summer said...

It's never ever too late for Lexapro, my love.

And xanax.

And sneak some baileys into your hot chocolate. =)

That should all help somewhat.

Harlene said...

Growing up I never understood why my mom would hand me a gin and tonic and a double vodka to place in my grandparents hands as they hit the front door.

Now I do, I am soo sorry! Really, you are not responsible for actions taken during family holiday visits!

I say drug THEM, instead of you!

Jenners said...

One word for you: Xanax.