Tuesday, September 1, 2009

5 Things I Hate About Back To School Night

1. I am not the one who, by law, must go to school. I have already been through school. Just teach my kids already, and leave me out of it.

2. It goes against my policy of ignoring and avoiding everyone around me.

3. I have to get out of my pajamas. I tried staying in them one year, and the comfort wasn't worth the dirty/concerned looks I received.

4. It always interferes with some highly anticipated Season Premiere. ANTM, Biggest Loser, DWTS... you name it, I'll have to miss it. Curses!

5. The Teacher's Pets. Yes, they come in grown-up sizes, too. And they sit in the front row, nod their heads maniacally as the teacher speaks, and inevitably figure out a way to 'name drop' their own kids' names, LIKE ANYONE CARES. And of course, they force us to stay after the bell, asking ridiculous questions about the curriculum, LIKE ANYONE CARES.

I'm tempted to play hooky this year, but I want to go scour the walls for my kid's essay/poem/picture hanging there haphazardly. What can I say? I may have a bad attitude, but I still think my kids are the best, just like everyone else.

Oh, and in a show of solidarity with my pal Em, over at Life, Liberty and the Pursuit..., for each comment I receive, I will donate one can of food to the local food bank. Limit one comment per customer, s'il vous plaƮt.

44 comments:

Susan B. at warmchocmilk said...

Love it!! I feel the same way :) It's hard to admit that sometimes you'd rather watch TV then go to those things. I'll weatch TV with my kids, come on....isn't that good enough ;)

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Ugh, Deb this post makes me so glad that my daughter is not yet school aged. I think I hated back to school night as a kid too.

Em said...

ANTM season premiere is coming soon?!

And yeah, I wasted 45 minutes of my precious free time this morning after dropping off Youngest to listen to the administrator cover the preschool handbook - criminy, I couldn't walk away. I hate being a good girl.

You rock by the way - one comment caveat hilarious - you learn well grasshopper. Power to the People!

Sera said...

Can of green beans for me, lady. So, this is what I have to look forward to, huh? My husband (the teacher) doesn't exactly jump up and down when it's meet the teacher night, either. The parents who fly below the radar are the best - they're concerned, they support their kids, but they don't annoy the crap out of him, and at least they showed up. Sounds like you're the type the teachers appreciate most. :)

Kristina P. said...

Do you really have to get out of your pajamas. I work with therapists who don't. Consummate professionals, they are.

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

I am laughing out loud because I totally know all about the adult teachers pets... ugh... grow up already! LOL...

Kelly's Ideas said...

I do not like back to school night either! Especially for junior high when I have to go to every teacher's room and blah blah blah...

Love,
Kelly

Heather of the EO said...

We have this for PRESCHOOL on Thursday. Last year I felt like I was the only one sitting there with my eyes crossed, not taking it seriously. All the nodders made me look bad.

And I love how you wrapped it up at the end. Cause even if you don't love all the silly stuff, you sure do love those boys.

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

Our school is having a BBQ on Thursday. Isnt that weird. What kind of backwoods hick school throws a BBQ to welcome back students. Sorry you have to miss your shows to go to Back to school night..that sucks!

Do I get to pick out what kind of canned good my comment will buy? How about something obscure like sardines in mustard?

jori-o said...

I HATE it when parents ask questions that make every one else snoooooooooozzzzzzzzzzze!

Make mine a fruit cocktail! ;-)

Elaine A. said...

I had my first 'open house' last week and I totally pegged those parents who were 'teachers pet.'

Hope you enjoy seeing your kids' work... : )

Lindsay said...

As a student, stupid questions are the bane of my existence. People ask them just to hear their voices. HATE.

Yay you for cause that you are running over here.

The Nice One said...

I skipped them this year. I know I know, terrrrrrrrrible. But when you TEACH the same grade levels your kids are in, do you need to go hear all that stuff?

Ronnie "Sickboy" Sharpe said...

I once tried to wear my Arizona basketball shorts every day for a month and...oh wait, I actually did it for two months :) Come back to me college days!

Ronnie

Mary said...

I'm here from somebody's Tweet about your blog - if only I could remember now. Em?? I think??

LMAO... I could have written that post many years ago! Only mine was of the male species.

LOVE it!

Wendyburd1 said...

I hate THAT there are parents who are Teachers Pets still! It is so annoying! I know you'd go to see your kids stuff hanging there even if you had to wear a tiara and a tutu! You are a good mom!:)

April G. said...

I'm right with you! Leave me out of it...most of the stuff the teacher talked about was homework anyway and it was all I could do not to start screaming. Of course I didn't. I grin and bear the interaction to make things easier on my kids. I'm thankful that you are donating food!

Young Momma said...

Is it strange that I'm looking forward to going to them?? I even thought to myself "Oh, nuts, I might have to miss some of my schools back to school nights when I'm teaching - 'cause I'll be the hosting teacher... crap!" LOL Although, I am NOT looking forward to being on the teacher end of the back to school nights. :)

♥georgie♥ said...

LMAo...I feel the exact same way!

Kim said...

You are too funny. Yeah, we will have back to school night next week. And, since I am helping with the PTA I kind of have to be there. I am totally going to sit in the front of the class and try to be the teacher's pet.

Quirkyloon said...

I just adore you Deb! You are so funny.

AND #2 reason is my entire life in general!

Ha!

Under the Influence said...

I am with you.

This year I will be out of town, in, ahem, Hawaii, for one of the nights, so my husband gets to go all by himself! I can only imagine the eyerolling he will do.

Sweet Annabelle said...

Oh, no! I'm one of the name-dropping parents! Had to comment for a can of food,

s

Lee of MWOB said...

You are such a teacher's pet and you know it. :-)

Okay here is a comment for a can.

Nice work lady.

:-)

Lee of MWOB said...

You are such a teacher's pet and you know it. :-)

Okay here is a comment for a can.

Nice work lady.

:-)

Lee of MWOB said...

Oops I left two comments. And now this will be three. Oops.

stefanie said...

1. The bumper to bumper traffic.
2. The crowded hallways.
3. I never have anything to wear.
4. I get homework.
5. Gym. Ew.

My kids remind me that I only have to attend once a year, not 180 times. I hate it when they lecture me, what do they know?

Lovin Lane said...

We are Lovin your blog and this you should have this award!!!

Check it out..
http://lovinlane.blogspot.com/2009/09/kreative-award.html

Marcy

Beth said...

I'm nominating you for Mother of the Year! I didn't even go to my son's Parent Night. Good example, right?

Lovin Lane said...

you certainly can steal it...lol nothing gets a kid out of bed quicker then me taking a pic of them in bed, drool and all...

oh and if we cant double up on comments to force you to buy more food, then you at least have to make sure the food isnt clearanced spinach or something worse, if there is anything worse.... I want my item to be different K.... :) Like Ham.... You know the whole ones that come in a can.... yeah one of those.... :)

Sassy Britches said...

I am so looking forward to being a mother; especially since, if our similar thought processes are any indication, I know I won't have to change a bit!

Lindsay said...

Ugh, I think the thing I will like least about my daughter starting preschool will be the other parents. I'm getting so antisocial it's sad...

What's so wrong about wearing pajamas all the time???? ;)

Choleesa said...

I agree. I once got "tricked" into volunteering as an "aide" for a home ec. class, and can you believe they refused me when I got there?? Apparently, I was not in dress code.

dizzblnd said...

I am OHSOGLAD My oldest has graduated and my youngest is a SR and can drive to and from school.. has a job.

Your kids ARE the best! @nd only to mine ;)

Margo said...

with one in virtual school and another a junior, I'm so glad to be past these things-Seriously as awful as the dentist and the gyno. Very funny post :)

Ann's Rants said...

Sounds curiously like BlogHer.

;)

Harlene said...

You are a better mother than I, I don't do back to school nights-ever! I also tell the teachers, if you ned something and no one else steps up, I'm available, otherwise, not so much. There is always a grown up teacher's pet needing to be involved. I don't need, I'm willing to help the teacher out, but I've also been the teacher who has to spend extra time thinking of things to have all the eager beavers moms do.

The games we play...

Missy said...

You are so funny! I hate these "nights" also~

Jenners said...

I'm just embarking on my career as a "parent of a school-aged child" as my son starts kindergarten this year so I'm sure I'll be borrowing this post in a few years ... but for now, I'm all atwitter and excited about this kind of stuff.

mama-face said...

Every time I read a post from you I am more and more convinced we are twins. It's spooky. I think I've left this comment 45 times.

hmm...I hate the mommy competitions. That's hard to explain, but perhaps you get it? I can't win in one of those contests. Seriously, why and how do they volunteer for EVERYTHING? I'm cool with it though, cause I certainly don't wanna plan every class party, blah blah blah.

T~T said...

oh joy - I'm going tonight and I do try to completely avoid all contact with large people (adults) which I have been quite successful at for many years to do the fact that I have been having so many babies! But my babies are babies no more . . . AND I'm speaking tonight - I decided to head up the fundraising committee b/c I didn't think the lady that was doing it was doing a great job

Brenda Jean said...

Sorry I'm late on reading your posts. I have PMS and my attitude sucks. Our high school doesn't make parents go to the orientations-just the kids. It's great! I didn't have to go to Emily's school where I decided I didn't like her teacher this year. Okay, I had 5 minutes to decide but still. She annoyed me. They changed principals, and office gals this year. What the hell is up with that? I don't like change. Change is bad. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Beadiful Things said...

Ugh. Dear God, AMEN!

Annie said...

I could write my own top 5 as a TEACHER! LMAO!