Thursday, June 4, 2009

Happy Days Are Here Again

I've had something really exciting happen to me over the past couple of days that I feel the need to share. I know I have been focused on the negative a lot lately, but that's all about to change!

On with the show...

I have actually gotten nail polish to stay on my fingers, unchipped, for almost 3 days now! I am not sure if the stars are aligned just right, if God is answering my prayer, or if I have finally struck the perfect combination of base coat, color, and top coat. Now if I could only get my cuticles under control, I might actually have hands that don't offend!

I am hosting a contest/research project with myself as the lone participant. I am finally going to nail down exactly how many paper towels I go through in a day. I have already started this morning and I am at one. I know, a bit of a let down, but it's early and I haven't really had any major catastrophes yet. So I have my little pile going, and at the end of the day, I will count them up and have the results. I am going to guess somewhere in the 25-30 vicinity, but I don't want to get my hopes up.

Finally, I hate to lean on you wonderful people more than I already do, but I need help. Am I just buying really crappy jelly or is there some sort of trick to spreading it on a PB&J sandwich? I mean, it all starts out fine, with me spooning a clump of it onto the bread, but when I go to spread it, it all just sort of stays together and rolls around in one big unit. Then I press down with the spoon, hoping to apply enough pressure to cause it to spread, which only leads to flattening the bread. So I start to kind of chop at it, which in turn, completely mutilates the bread. I usually resort to having little pieces of the initial jelly clump placed randomly across the surface area of the bread. Does that sound right?


Soxy Deb said...

Yes but if you have struck the perfect combination of base coat, color, and top coat - you know you'll forget what that combination was, right?

And I always used Welch's Grape jelly. Then I would smoosh it up a little in the jar still and once I got it on the bread, I didn't push down too hard.
It's more of a loving movement as you caress the jelly till it lays softly over the bread, waiting to be covered by Mr. PB.
And where the hell is *my* head this morning?!
Gotta run!

Sass said...

Greatest post ever. ;)

I need to know your nail polish combo.

I buy Viva paper towels, and find that I use far fewer of them.

And I use squeezable jam for pb & j.

Eva Robertson said...

Deb, be thankful you don't have my pathetic hands, a picture of which you can find on my blog ( and as to which I would never dare call attention with nail polish.

The paper towel thing: Try "ShamWows" -- they are available at Costco. They are ultra-absorbent part chamois cloths that can hold some record amount of liquid. They are washable and extremely durable -- designed to last years.

Can't help you on the jelly dilemma as there are no jelly takers in our home. But I would imagine that spreading the PB first and then applying the J would help, as the PB would firm up the bread and provide some traction for the J, especially if you use crunchy PB. Or, you could always use some hearty whole grain bread that doesn't tear, but I'm guessing that might be a hard sell :)

Anonymous said...

Ha! Loved this post and kudos to Soxy Deb's, er, spread recap!

I don't even want to know how many paper towels we go through. Too scary.

As for the pb&j? Dare I admit it? We buy the Wal-Mart brand and it's never a spreading problem. Probably more lard or oil in their generic brand!

Denise @ Sunflowers, Chocolate and Little Boys said...

I gave up on nail polish years ago. But thats cool you found your magic combo.
I am a paper towel hog. I use..I mean waste tons of them everyday. Maybe I should count too....make sure you tell us how many you use today.

And you need to get Jam instead of jelly. It spreads so much easier.

Kristina P. said...

I never wear polish on my fingers because it always chips and looks horrible!

Beadiful Things said...

Congrats on the nails! Practically unheard of.

I have the answer to your jelly problem: Smuckers "Squeeze".

It actually comes in a squeezable bottle. You squeeze out what you want and it spreads divinely. I like strawberry jelly myself. Not sure if it comes in other flavors. And the bottle actually says "fruit spread" -- not jelly. But it's all the same to me.

Heather of the EO said...

Just wait until you see my nails, you'll think yours are the most beautiful things you've ever seen.

That jelly thing was hilarious. Did you say you're using a spoon? I don't get it...Maybe a KNIFE would work better?

Sally's World said...

excellent post!

i have never ever ever once ever gone a whole day without chipping my nail polish!!! sigh!

Jenn@ The Crazies said...

See now this is precisely why I go to the nail salon and get my nails done. as for the papertowels... I am interested to know!

Deb said...

Hey Deb ~ I am finally back from my 'spring break' - and I truly missed my blogging friends.
I never polish my fingernails - makes me grouchy because they chip within minutes. I do love a good pedicure though! Don't need paper towels in my house - our dog cleans up anything that lands on the floor in seconds flat. And the secret to the jelly is to spread it onto the PB ~ enjoy!

Amy said...

Great post Deb.

It sounds like you found your jelly answer above. I can only reiterate that the squeezable Welch's brand is awesome for spreading. I even buy the kind that says "Reduced Sugar" in big letters across the front. My kids don't know the difference.

Missy said...

I always by Goober's! The peanut butter and jelly are already mixed together~
I am very curious about your paper towel experiment! I use too many paper towels but so love the conveniece.

Jenners said...

This was just so amusing!

I was waiting for some kind of big announcement ... but hey, three days with no chips is a big deal. Congrats! The stars are aligned for you!

And yes ... you are doing something wrong with the jelly.

Wendyburd1 said...

I use the squeezable Welch's grape jelly but I think jelly is just always gonna clump!

stefanie said...

So glad that things are happening for you now!

As for jelly...the problem is the jelly. Jelly has a design flaw, as you have discovered. Buy 'jam' or 'preserves'. They cost more, but you're worth it.

Anonymous said...

OH silly woman. Don't buy JELLY. Buy JAM and you'll never go back.

And once the jar is half empty (or half full if you're an optimist) put enough peanut butter in the jar and stir it up. Then you've got PRE-peanut butter and jam to go!!

Do I win a prize???huh?huh?

Em said...

Please post about that magical combo!!!! I NEED to know. I haven't worn polish on my fingers in years because of the chipping, wearing off, smudging issues, etc.

Great, now I'm depressed.

And the whole PB&J thing, go with the squeezable baby. My go-to answer for just about everything :-)

Em said...

I hate when my smilies get mutilated.


CaJoh said...

I only know tricks with peanut butter, not the jelly part of a PB&J sandwich. I typically spread butter on the bread which will make the bread not fall apart when you apply the peanut butter.

Good luck finding out how best to spread the jelly.

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

HA - I use at least - AT LEAST one roll a day! - no joke - I have three little ones and a drooling dog!

can't help you on the pb & j - we don't eat any of that stuff in our house - we area nutella family!

Karen MEG said...

Three whole days is amazing! My nails chip even without polish (this Sally Hansen polish for aging isn't really working for me) so I'm envious!

I'm not a big fan of Jam/jelly, die hard lone PB person so can't help you there.

Very fun post!

Anonymous said...

Hi Deb, we use Welch's Apple Jelly. It's never given me a problem. I stopped buying paper towels awhile back, because we went through them too fast and too much.

Anonymous said...

you gotta take the knife and whip it around in the jelly jar to break up the jelly before you put it on the bread. at least that's how I make it work.

jori-o said...

I'm with Sissy--I just discovered that if you mix the jelly up, it is less "jell"-y (ha.) and more spreadable.

Congrats on the nails! That IS something to be happy about!! =)

Straight to Your Hart said...

Well there Deb...that would be a great "vlog".. really. A very good question indeed, for I have thought the very same thing. I've just learned to enjoy the cream of wheat (malto-meal). For some reason I am singing the oompaloof song..random I know...and that's after exercising and eating.;0)

Lee of MWOB said...

Blogland comes out in full force to help with these serious issues you have brought up in this post. Thank God.

1) Nails - don't even TRY to put nail polish in your hands. That is the only way they won't chip. Take it from me -an au natural gal.

2) Paper towels - I need to try Dogwood Diarist's suggestion. We use waaaayyyy too many.

3) The ONLY jelly worth using is Knott's Berry Farm Pure SEEDLESS Jam. Any flavor and the ONLY stuff that spreads right. Try it. If you can't find it, I'll send you some.

And by the way, your description of jelly spreading really had me laughing - like spitting coffee all over my keyboard kind of laughing.


mama-face said...

paper towels? What's next, toilet paper? Now you're gonna steal my idea, right? I think I will get on that one right away.

i lurve you so much. Only you can write about paper towel and fingernail polish and make it so fun to read. Thought provoking as well.

Lisa said...

I'm kind of worried about you and the jelly. Maybe you could just buy those pre-made crustable things? I haven't tried them but I dont' want you to hurt yourself. What about Jam. Have you tried Jam?

Let us know how the paper towel thing goes. I have not wanted to even know how much I use but maybe I should keep count one day.

Sweet Annabelle said...

Use jam, not jelly. Jam spread so BE-U-tifully!

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