There have been many autobiographical obituary posts floating around the blog scene, and that got me thinking... If I were to, let's say, hypothetically, end up dead, what would be the cause?
Way back in my youth, I was sure it would be homicide. I was very diligent about letting someone know if I had gotten into any sort of altercation with anyone, so if/when I wound up murdered in cold blood, they would know at whom to point the finger.
Now, however, in my old age, I can see my demise realistically occurring in a few other ways:
1. Splenda poisoning. It's everywhere.
2. Adult acne. Maybe it's a side effect of all the Splenda I'm ingesting, but it is only getting worse as I age. Gross.
3. Mauled and eaten by the lizard that lives upstairs.
4. Lack of Flossing. Am I the only one terrified by the repercussions of dental hygiene laziness? I've read articles that link tartar buildup to everything from Alzheimer's to obesity.
5. Homicide. My old standby. I can't rule it out, as I am still so good at enraging just about anyone.