It's a Party, and We're ALL Invited!

Today we celebrate Denise,  who, despite having a birthday today, is not as old as I am. Let's all go over to her blog and wish her well!

Happy Birthday, Denise! You have been a blessing in my bloggy life! 

Utterly Horrified and Speechless

I was feeling very proud of myself for being jolly and stress-free all holiday weekend (well, not stress-free, but I WAS able to let a lot go), when I came across THIS. Honestly, I don't know who could read this and not be completely depressed. What is wrong with people?? 

Happy Birthday to My Own Thanksgiving Turkey

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound?  Not really...

Has a very "tight end"...

Best dad in the world...

Hard worker...

My very best friend (and spill cleaner)...

REALLLLLLY wants this for his birthday...

But is getting this, instead.

The Family That Wears Utensils Together, Stays Together

It's not the greatest picture of the four of us. I would have sworn I had promised myself no bowl-cuts for the kids, but obviously that went out the window. My hair is an awful shade of weird and my poor husband looks totally overworked and exhausted.

But no one likes to be goofy like we do. Even while attending the most civilized of brunches. When one of us decides to play, we all play. All for one, and one for all. And that's because we are a family. A silly family, but a family, nonetheless.

This Thanksgiving-Eve Wordful Wednesday is brought to us all by Angie, for whom I am thankful.

For the 1st Panic Attack of Christmas, My In-Laws Gave to Me...

I really am trying to change. I fully acknowledge my grinchiness and want to do better. But when my mother-in-law called to say she wanted to send us a Turducken for Thanksgiving, I was beside myself. This just had complete nightmare written all over it.

First, I'd be quite okay with a quick run through the Taco Bell drive thru for Thanksgiving dinner. I figure as long as we ate in the (rarely used) dining room, it'd be fine. And before you get all up in my grillz, we would, of course, finish with a lovely, homemade pumpkin pie.

Second, I cannot stand seeing food go to waste. This is my problem with the whole turkey dinner extravaganza. Nobody in my house likes turkey as much as they claim to, and I bet if you really thought about it, you don't like it all that much either. Face it... It's a very thinly veiled excuse to pig out on stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cream cheese mashed potatoes. All the good stuff gets eaten, while the big, pasty, DRY bird that took all week to thaw, four hours to cook, and 1 hour to carve gets kicked to the curb. And don't start with the whole turkey salad sandwiches and turkey noodle soup. Not going to happen.

After some cajoling by Mr. Festive (more like Mr. Non-Confrontational mama's boy), I acquiesced. I figured anyone serving a Turducken for Thanksgiving has to be festive (or certifiable, I suppose). And Lord knows, we can't upset the mother-in-law. But I did have strict conditions that had to be met...

I was assured that it would be a) SMALL b) boneless and c) FULLY cooked. It very briefly seemed like a dream come true. Maybe this Turducken was a little gift from heaven, giving me a tiny boost toward jolliness. I wouldn't have tons and tons of extra turkey that no one eats and I would just have to heat it, instead of having to go through the trauma of thawing/overcooking/undercooking. Easy.

Well, well, well... The package arrived a few days ago. Luckily it was very cold outside, so I just ignored its presence, leaving it on the porch until my husband got home. We opened it together, and what to our wondering eyes should appear?

A FIFTEEN pound, FROZEN, completely UNCOOKED (as in RAW) Turducken with little things that look suspiciously like bones in it. Oh, and with the wrong stuffing.

Everyone (besides me) is just thrilled and can't wait to eat the stupid bird (or birds, shall I say?). It has been thawing for days, and is still very frozen. I am soldiering on... trying to keep from ripping apart anyone and anything within reach. My neck is a little stiff, my jaw is extremely sore and I am PMSing like a fiend. Other than that... life is just peachy.

MISSION: Monday...We Have a Winner!!

And it is the lovely Lorie at Be Different...Act Normal. Congratulations, Lorie and thanks for participating. Once we verify that you have all three answers, the cute MOM necklace from Ann at Rudimentary Metal + Fire will be officially yours! 

Also, Lorie will be one of our featured bloggers in next week's round of MISSION: Monday! She's got a fun blog that I know you all will love.

Good work, Agents. Don't forget to play next week, too, because... EVERY time you play, you get an entry in our Grand End of Year Giveaway.

Oh, and as a little favor to my favorite Agents, I am letting you in on a secret. Go check out Ann's other creative endeavor, Beadiful Things, for a fantastic giveaway that I plan to win. 

MISSION: Monday...and Giveaway!!

Good Morning Blogger Agents.

The agency has uncovered a number of blogs you may not have been following, and we have designed a weekly giveaway around helping you discover some fantastic blogs.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to visit the blogs below, discover their secrets, and report back here. The bloggers featured will be past winners, deserving contributors, or just damn good and hilarious writers deserving of your eyeballing.

Your reward will be, let us say, substantial. We will offer a weekly prize to one blog explorer/agent, but then EACH person who plays will be entered each week into the Grand Prize drawing at the end of the year. Plus, the winner each week will have their blog featured in the following week's MISSION: Monday Giveaway! Explore early, Explore often, Agents. Riches await.

This week's MISSION: Monday Giveaway: A "Mom" Charm Necklace valued at $37, from Ann Westby's Rudimentary Metal + Fire shop!!! (Also, make sure you check out her Beadiful Things shop!) In addition, the winner will have her/his blog used as a feature blog in the next week's Mission!! Not to mention, ALL entrants are entered into the year end GRAND PRIZE DRAWING!



To enter the Giveaway, you will be visiting 3 blogs...follow these steps:

Step 1. Fill out a Mr Linky below. (Closes at Midnight, EST)



Step 2. Visit each of the following 3 featured blog links, find the answer to the question posted at each blog, and leave a comment on their blog to prove you were there (But dont post the answers to the questions!!)...this is important- we are trying to expose you to great blogs out there, so take the time to have a look around!

Musings of a Barefoot Foodie (Author - Brittany... this lady is twisted...and hilarious.)
Seven Clown Circus (Author - Angie)
And last week's winner...
CutieBootyCakes (Author - Renee)

Step 3. What happens then? We will stop taking entries at Midnight on Monday, and then we will draw a winner using a random number generator, and email that person to ask for the answers to the questions. So make sure you are ready! The weekly winner will receive the mentioned prize, and ALL entrants will be entered into the year ending drawing for the BIG prize.

Wanna earn 3 entries to this giveaway instead of 1? Go Here Or need a button for your blog? Go Here

Three great blogs await your discovery, Blogger Agents...make us proud.

The Agency consists of Deb and Jay at Dirty Socks and Pizza and HalftimeLessons...make sure you bookmark us both, as we have some other gems to share...

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Program to Bring You...

So I had not yet even begun to bask in the self-pity and martyrdom brought on by Panic Attack #1, when I was totally blind-sided by Panic Attack #2! And let me tell you, if you think a Turducken sounds traumatic, you haven't met my sister-in-law. You see, Panic Attack #2 involves a surprise Christmas visit from said relative. Sure, on the surface this seems benign. However there is much (MUCH) more to the story. I am beginning to sense a full psychotic break in my future. 

Luckily, my brain is very adept at shutting down and going into "avoidance" mode (that, or someone gave me a lobotomy in my sleep last night). So, for today, we will simply ignore the fact that a) I have ZERO freezer space due to "the horrid beast that shall not be named", and b) for the past 15 years, my sister-in-law has spent Christmas with us, but has YET to actually be invited or give proper notice (telling an 11 y.o. does NOT count). Now, I would have just assumed she was coming to ruin things yet again this year, had MY HUSBAND NOT ASSURED ME she would NOT be coming. 

Interesting that my husband plays prominent roles in both panic attacks #1 and #2. Hmm...

So, let's be happy and festive! I'll list for you some of my favorite Christmas songs, in no particular order. If you actually go looking for any of the songs, it is important that you stick with the version I suggest:

1) Christmas Waltz (Nancy Wilson ONLY. Don't bother with The Carpenters' version. Snooze)

2) Christmas Wrapping (The Waitresses)

3) This Christmas (Donny Hathaway)

4) Do They Know it's Christmas (Band Aid. You could go with Barenaked Ladies' version, too)

5) Last Christmas (Wham. My own guilty pleasure)

6) God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman (Barenaked Ladies WITH Sarah McLachlan)

7) Song for a Winter's Night (Sarah McLachlan)

8) Var. on the Kanon by Pachelbel (George Winston. Oh, this brings back memories)

9) All I Want for Christmas is You (Mariah Carey. Just for fun)

I may never get to my 12 part series...and that might just be a GOOD thing.

Thankful Thursday, With or Without Kristina P.

So before I start the deluge of nightmarish vignettes detailing my holiday hell, I thought I would take a minute to be thankful. Kristina P.'s take on thankfulness last week was hard to top, so I will go in a slightly different direction:

I am thankful that when I walked into the drugstore to pick up a prescription, the most glorious bottle of fuchsia nail polish caught my eye. Tonight, my toes will get the royal treatment.

I am thankful for my husband, who, unlike Em's amazingly thoughtful husband, did NOT bring me flowers. Instead, he brought home 12 of the most delectable looking cupcakes EVER. Granted, they were given to his entire office, but he was kind (and sneaky) enough to swap out the coconut ones (blech) for the chocolate ones (yay) and bring home the best of the lot. After my metatarsal makeover, I will sit down with my own little red-velvet-with-cream-cheese slice of heaven and enjoy every bite. 

I am thankful that my youngest did not catch me cheating when we were playing "rock-paper-scissors" to determine who would get the sole red velvet cupcake. I will try with all my might to save him a (tiny) bite.

My evening just got a LOT better. 

The 12 Panic Attacks of Christmas: A Series

Ugh, the holidays. Rapidly approaching, already bringing with them mild indigestion and fitful sleep. I hate the holidays, as awful as that sounds, but I think, for good reason. I don't hate the holidays because of what they represent. I am all for giving thanks for my abundant life, celebrating the birth of Jesus, ringing in another glorious year. Yes, I may be a Grinch, but I am certainly no sociopath.  

It all comes down to this: I hate the holidays because of the anxiety they produce. And unlike all you roller coaster fanatics, I really don't care for the taste of vomit in the back of my throat, and white-knuckle, stomach-dropping fear. 

So in my effort to confront my neuroses head on, I am introducing a series of blog posts, entitled, "The 12 Panic Attacks of Christmas". Sure, there are probably more than 12 issues associated with the holidays that induce panic within, but I'll try to stick with the biggies. And give me credit for trying to be festive in my kvetching. 

My plan is to intersperse my 12 panic attack posts throughout the holiday season, just to keep you jolly souls grounded in reality. And maybe if all goes according to plan, before we hit #12, I will somehow be miraculously cured and by the time Christmas rolls around, I'll be baking cookies and playing Scrabble with hateful relatives with the best of 'em.

So feel free to commiserate, judge, or console. I totally get that there will be some of you that think I am out of my mind and others will be saying, "Amen, sister". But I just have to give this a try, because I have faith in this blogging process and I know I am going to learn a lot (or become an isolated pariah).

First up, Turducken. If you don't know what I am talking about, look it up and be ready to help.

Drum Roll, Please...

So before we get to the big announcement of our MISSION: Monday winner, let's take care of a little housekeeping...

1) If you have a product or service that you would like to see featured as a prize on MISSION: Monday, let Jay or me know with a quick email or comment. It's a great way to get your name out to millions of readers. Ok, maybe not millions. But close.

2) If you have been faithfully playing for the past three weeks, yet still haven't won, don't despair. Let me remind you that for EACH week you play, you get a chance to win our end of year giveaway. So... play 10 weeks, get 10 entries.

3) Speaking of the END OF YEAR GIVEAWAY... Stay tuned, Agents, because our big announcement is coming soon.

Now, without further ado, I present to you this week's winner: Renee aka Mekhi's mom, from CutieBootyCakes.

Our winner will be receiving a $25 Target gift card, and will be one of the featured bloggers next week. Congratulations, Renee!

Remember Agents, keep up the good work and we'll see you next week with our next assignment.

MISSION: Monday...and Giveaway!!

Good Morning Blogger Agents.

The agency has uncovered a number of blogs you may not have been following, and we have designed a weekly giveaway around helping you discover some fantastic blogs.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to visit the blogs below, discover their secrets, and report back here. The bloggers featured will be past winners, deserving contributors, or just damn good and hilarious writers deserving of your eyeballing.

Your reward will be, let us say, substantial. We will offer a weekly prize to one blog explorer/agent, but then EACH person who plays will be entered each week into the Grand Prize drawing at the end of the year. Plus, the winner each week will have their blog featured in the following week's MISSION: Monday Giveaway! Explore early, Explore often, Agents. Riches await.

This week's MISSION: Monday Giveaway: A Target Gift Card valued at $25!!! In addition, the winner will have her/his blog used as a feature blog in the next week's Mission!! Not to mention, ALL entrants are entered into the year end GRAND PRIZE DRAWING!



To enter the Giveaway, you will be visiting 3 blogs...follow these steps:

Step 1. Fill out a Mr Linky below. (Closes at Midnight, CST)



Step 2. Visit each of the following 3 featured blog links, find the answer to the question posted at each blog, and leave a comment on their blog to prove you were there (But dont post the answers to the questions!!)...this is important- we are trying to expose you to great blogs out there, so take the time to have a look around!

The McMommy Chronicles (Author - McMommy... this lady is just plain FUNNY.)
Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit (Author - EM)
And last week's winner...
Tangled Me (Author - Jo)

Step 3. What happens then? We will stop taking entries at Midnight on Monday, and then we will draw a winner using a random number generator, and email that person to ask for the answers to the questions. So make sure you are ready! The weekly winner will receive the mentioned prize, and ALL entrants will be entered into the year ending drawing for the BIG prize.


Want to support "MISSION: Monday" by putting a button on your blog? Copy and paste the code below to your blog...
<a href="http://halftimelessons.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i421.photobucket.com/albums/pp291/halftimelessons/mmbutton.jpg" border="0" alt="MissionMonday" /></a>
and it will look like this:


Three great blogs await your discovery, Blogger Agents...make us proud.

The Agency consists of Deb and Jay at Dirty Socks and Pizza and HalftimeLessons...make sure you bookmark us both, as we have some other gems to share...

People Are Hungry. Do You Care?

While we are all trying to decide between roast turkey or perhaps a nice rack of lamb, picking out our favorite bottle of port to go with our pie, or obsessing about the right table setting to impress our relatives, there are millions of people right here in America wondering IF they will even eat on Thanksgiving. It's hard to find much to be thankful for when your stomach is growling and your kids are hungry. 

That's why we all need to take a minute to help in one of the best and easiest ways around. My favorite moms over at Girls Night Out (GNO) have organized a fundraiser, and I am inviting you to participate. 

GNO Cares is raising money for FeedAmerica.org, who has set a goal of feeding 14 million hungry Americans this Thanksgiving. And typical of those creative GNO gals, they are doing it in their own fun and fabulous way. 

So, here's what YOU can do:

1) Go to the GNO Cares site now or anytime this week, and make a donation through paypal. That's what I did, and I assure you, it was painless.

2) Join us THIS Tuesday night, November 18, for a virtual food drive, complete with live auction and door prizes. If you go check out Mommygossip-GNO.blogspot.com, you can get all the details and preview some of the cool prizes you could win. 

These ladies are on a mission, and if you have been to my blog anytime recently, you know that I love a mission! In fact, my partner in crime, Jay, and I have donated a prize to the event on behalf of our MISSION: Monday blog hunts. Yes, we are shameless and see nothing wrong with a little self-promotion, but we also are impressed and inspired by the commitment of the GNO gang to our communities. 

There's a $25 Borders gift card with your name on it that we would love to see you win. So go check out the site, plan to drop by the GNO event on Tuesday night, make a small (or large) donation, or all of the above.

Questions? Just let me know...

And on behalf of the GNO gang, and the millions of hungry men, women and children in our great Land of Opportunity, THANK YOU!!

What Lies Beneath

So this was supposed to be a loving tribute to my sweet boy who turns 12 today. However, when I went up to his room, perhaps to glean some inspiration, my hand was forced in a slightly different direction.

On the surface, things seem above average. Clean room, made bed, clutter-free desk. Well, not so fast. Take a look-see at what I found...

"Yawn," you say. "A messy closet. Been there, done that," Right? WRONG! Take a closer look. Here, I'll help (reminder: he's 12)...

A table of contents of the highlights, if you will:

1) Care Bear

2) an assault rifle (ok, it's really an airsoft gun made to look like one, but still...)

3) Moo (blanket with sheep on it, misguidedly named, obviously)

4) authentic WWII combat helmet

5) Littlest Pet Shop, with lil' kitty and grooming tools (this is where my jaw dropped)

6) his "dressy clothes": a lone navy blazer that is probably 3 sizes too small 

7) a fencing glove

8) real machine gun bullets (nice)

9) his temperpedic pillow that he insists gives him good dreams

But I guess when you consider the source of this disaster, it's really no surprise...

Happy Birthday, Mr. Bean! I love you, my precious maniac! And for your birthday, since you obviously already have everything a boy could possibly want, you may choose ONE (I don't want to overindulge) of the following:

1) deposit down on a padded cell

2) straight jacket

3) electro-shock therapy

Oh, and you're grounded.

And God bless Cecily and MamaGeek for this fun tradition, and for putting up with me every week! Love those gals!

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Thankful Thursday (aka The Day I Officially Went Insane)

Following in Kristina P.'s footsteps, I would like to give thanks on this cold and rainy Thankful Thursday.

I am thankful for the crazy, barely functioning mall security gang who NOT ONLY kept me company for the 2 hours I stood in the rain waiting for my car to be unlocked, but also reminded me why my kids must stay in school and get a good job.

I am thankful for the emo punks with the striped hair and bad attitudes that NOT ONLY chain smoked right next to me for the 2 hours I stood in the rain waiting for my car to be unlocked, but also reminded me why my kids must stay in school and get a good job.

I am thankful for the Macy's worker that thought I wanted to buy a car key from her when I was hysterically searching for my keys BEFORE I realized I had locked them in my car. Clearly something was lost in translation.

Finally, I am thankful for Chik-fil-A, whose tasty #1 with a Diet Coke calmed me for the second day in a row. 

OH! And I am also thankful for the extremely tardy and way too jovial locksmith that NOT ONLY did quite a number to my paint job while breaking into my car, but also allowed me to rest my weary, soaked, cold, flip-flopped feet in his smelly, smoky, possibly lice-infested tow truck while taking his car-breaker-inner-thing and hacking the side of my car with it.

From the Bottom of My Heart

So yesterday was all about me basically holding God hostage. And after He did not meet my demands in less than an hour, I had no other choice but to turn to my blog homies (Holla!). I knew I was taking a chance, but boy, did it pay off! 

I have not been blogging long, but already have my own little community of crazies. Interestingly, many are Mormon. And let me tell you, there is an irony in a Southern Baptist raised gal being greeted by Mormons. But the rewards have been immense. You (and you know exactly who you are) are the warmest, funniest, sweetest, SMARTEST bunch of people I have met in a LONG time. And yes, I do still know my own name, what year it is, and that I haven't actually "met" any of you. So that's my first bit of recognition.

The second part is to all the rest of you that were there for me, literally within minutes (and I thought I needed a life!). I had extremely relevant Scriptures, words of encouragement, and offers of a shoulder to lean on right in my comments section and in my inbox pretty much immediately. A couple of those emails hit it home for me, big time. 

Finally, there are those of you who may not have answered me directly. Perhaps you are going through your own hard time and your post touched me. I do derive so much comfort from reading your blogs, knowing I am not the only one faced with tough times. I hope I can be there for you, and offer you encouragement and comfort. Please! Use me! 

As a "thank you", I wanted to give you all something to show my appreciation. I came up with a really cute idea for a button, but I don't know how to make a button. And my tech support (Holla, Jay!) is unlike Hillary, in that he does NOT answer the phone at 3 a.m.

So I had to make do with my own resources. Drum roll, please.......

I DID get that answer to my prayer... and it was through all of you!

Post Script: Due to the easy to follow tutorial of my blog idol, Carissa, I actually made my very first button, complete with code and EVERYTHING! (see sidebar) So now your dreams have come true and you can actually have one of my masterpieces. Now don't all grab at once. Be good kids and take turns. 

Shout Out to My Mormons. Holla!!

Or anyone else who has any sort of (even remote) spiritual superiority... HELP!

And yes, we are still celebrating Jo's MISSION: Monday win (see below). However, I am having a crisis. I need to be selfish and use my blog to expose my own neuroses. Sorry.

Here's the deal: I prayed about something that needs God's immediate attention, and I am still as lost and confused as I was before (although He did steer me to Chik-fil-a for a #1 w/ a Diet Coke, which calmed me immensely)! Still no clear answer to my prayer. 

And before you start with the whole "God answers all your prayers, just maybe not the way you want Him to" business, I get that. I kept a very open mind and heart while begging for 1) peace regardless of how my situation turns out and 2) help figuring out what action to take in this particular situation. 

So, see? I was being very mature and good by not trying to demand the outcome to the situation that I really want. And I think that part will work itself out. So I am not as hung up on the peace bit as I am on the action business. Besides, there's always Ativan.

What I really need is advice. Does God give advice? I asked specifically for guidance and got a big, fat, whopping nothing (It is a gorgeous day, however. Thank you, God!). And my mind is going a mile a minute. When a possible solution pops into my head, I wonder, "Is that God telling me what to do, or my own manipulative self attempting to control my thoughts?"

And on top of all that, I am a fairly obtuse person, so God could be holding up a "Pick Option 2" sign and I would miss it. Will His answer be clear? Or will God try to teach me a lesson within a lesson by making ME figure it out? Ugh, I hate that! Could he maybe save that for next time?

And the Winner of MISSION: Monday is...

Jo, from Tangled Me... Yay Jo! Now let's all be good sports and congratulate her. And while you're at it, congratulate yourselves because ALL of you (yes ALL) will be entered into our GRAND PRIZE END OF YEAR GIVEAWAY. AND... If you come back and play next week, you will be entered again.

So much winning around here. It just puts a smile on my face.

Just to recap, Jo has won a FAB blog makeover from Rachel at Blog Candy (thanks, Rachel!) AND will be one of our featured Blogs in next week's MISSION: Monday.

See you all next week, Agents! Good work!

MISSION: Monday

Good Morning Blogger Agents.

The agency has uncovered a number of blogs you may not have been following, and we have designed a weekly giveaway around helping you discover some fantastic blogs.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to visit the blogs below, discover their secrets, and report back here. The bloggers featured will be past winners, deserving contributors, or just damn good and hilarious writers worth viewing.

Your reward will be, let us say, substantial. We will offer a weekly prize to one blog explorer, but then EVERY person who plays will be entered each week into the Grand Prize drawing at the end of the year. The weekly winner will also have their blog featured in the following week's MISSION: Monday Giveaway! Explore early, Explore often, Agents. Riches await.

This week's MISSION: Monday Giveaway: A FREE Blog Makeover "Ultimate Design Package" AND a Holiday/Winter themed header and background from Rachel at Blog Candy Designs valued at $65!!! In addition, the winner will have her/his blog used as a feature blog in the next week's Mission!!





To enter the Giveaway, you will be visiting 3 blogs...follow these steps:

Step 1. Fill out a Mr Linky below. (Closes at Midnight, CST)



Step 2. Visit each of the following 3 featured blog links, find the answer to the question posted at each blog, and leave a comment on their blog to prove you were there (But dont post the answers to the questions!!)...this is important- we are trying to expose you to great blogs out there, so take the time to have a look around!

Pulsipher Predilections (Author - Kristina)
Postcards From The Edge (Author - SoxyDeb)
And last week's winner...
All Because Two People Fell In Love (Author - Joy)

Step 3. What happens then? We will stop taking entries at Midnight on Monday, and then we will draw a winner using a random number generator, and email that person to ask for the answers to the questions. So make sure you are ready! The weekly winner will receive the mentioned prize, and ALL entrants will be entered into the year ending drawing for the BIG prize.


Want to support "MISSION: Monday" by putting a button on your blog? Copy and paste the code below to your blog...
<a href="http://halftimelessons.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i421.photobucket.com/albums/pp291/halftimelessons/mmbutton.jpg" border="0" alt="MissionMonday" /></a>
and it will look like this:


Three great blogs await your discovery, Blogger Agents...make us proud.

Beating A Dead Horse

I know, I know... I can't seem to shut up about my husband, but this was just way too unbelievable to keep to myself.

It's kind of a long and unimportant story as to how my husband decided that today, of all days, he would see what's been happening on Dirty Socks & Pizza. Usually, as long as I am available to tell him how great he is for making the beds, and "oooh and ahhh" over his disaster evacuation plans, I can pretty much do whatever I want. Alas, not today...

I walk into the kitchen and he's sitting at the laptop, reading my post where I basically rescind every nice thing I have ever said about him. He looks up, quite seriously, and says, "You should have written that I am obsessed with CLASSIC Corvettes. I don't want people thinking that I like just any Corvette." 

Hello?? After reading that I have issues with just about every aspect of his personality, THIS is what's on his mind?

I can't decide if this simply proves MY point, or makes him even more lovable? Darn him!

Diagnosis PPR (Post-Post Regret)

Surely this is already an established diagnosis here in Blogtopia! You post something and then, for whatever reason, wake up regretting it? I would imagine there would be a lot of PPR among those that enjoy a cocktail (or 2 or 10) while typing. Or maybe a post gets published while in the heat of an argument, and once tempers cool, the regret begins to swell.

Well, I was not drunk or mad when I posted the tribute to my husband (and Mr. McCain), but boy, am I regretting it. Not because of any negativity among commentators. Everyone has been gracious, kind and even effusive. And that's exactly the problem. 

I think I may have gotten a little carried away. Yes, everything I wrote is indeed... true. He's a gifted doc with an amazing bedside manner. He is crazy about his kids... blah blah blah. But he also annoys the crap out of me sometimes (like now) and doesn't have the most consistent personal hygiene habits in the world. He confuses my birthday with our anniversary every single year (in his defense, they are only one day apart), and has given me presents for said events from the hospital gift shop, on more than one occasion. He's obsessed with Corvettes, and loves to "toot his own horn" about the laundry he does. He loads the dishwasher with the clear expectation that I fawn and offer thanks. He worries to the point of paranoia, and insists that there are people actively planning to murder our entire family.

So I have obviously typed myself into the proverbial corner. Who am I going to turn to when I want to bitch about Mr. Wonderful (like now)? I implore you to forget I ever brought up his many good points and focus only on the negative. Please? For me?

Judging a Man by the Company He Keeps

His very best friend in the whole world is gay. In fact, every year, we celebrate our anniversary, and the anniversary of his friend and his partner, together. We travel together... Our kids love and look up to them.

He goes to Guatemala to treat those who have never seen a doctor, EVER.

He provides free medical care to inner city kids, with a gentle hand and a loving heart.

He values the sanctity of life, but would never, EVER, dream of telling a woman what she must do with her own body. And he certainly wouldn't judge any decision that woman makes.

He is traveling to Israel next year, to pay homage to his closest Jewish friends, yet his son is named after a dear Palestinian mentor.

He is the smartest person I have ever met. His IQ, as well as his humor and perspective, confirm this.

He never misses a swim meet, band concert or teacher conference, no matter how hard he's worked or how long he's gone without sleep.

He does laundry (I try to overlook the fact that he puts my bras in the dryer).

What an awful idiot, huh?

Post Script: He would want you all to know that he is very proud of the fact that this picture was taken years ago, and that he has been a fan longer than the other two of you out there.

I am participating in the decidedly Bi-Partisan PSF, hosted by our gals, Cecily and MamaGeek.

Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Wordless or Wordful? Take Your Pick...

On one hand, I think this is the perfect candidate for Wordless Wednesday, because there simply are no words to adequately explain/justify/excuse this. (Wordless fans: Note photo. The End.)

NOW, on the other hand, I feel a strong need to somehow explain away any culpability I may have had in this. Or to keep typing until I feel certain everyone's mouths are no longer hanging agape. Or to perhaps distance myself from my youngest son, and his maddening tendency to think exceedingly outside of the box. This is where Wordful comes into play. 

But, by scouring the stores, picking out the perfect pair of fairy wings, and lovingly adjusting his tiara before he walked out the door, I have to admit that I did somewhat endorse and embrace this Fairy Princess Cow of mine. He was a big hit around the neighborhood, although I think most of the older folks assumed he was a girl. The dog did try to suckle a couple of times, but I only caught the cow mindlessly fondling his udders once. 

This may very well be his last year trick or treating, so at least he went out with a bang. Or a moo. Listen, I won't lie and say I wasn't relieved when he turned down my offering of a little blush and lip gloss. His eyes widened as he said, in pure bovine disgust, "Heck no, that's girly!" 

Moo, indeed.

If you are offended, blame Angie. She lured me into these fun Wordful Wednesdays with her awesome fabulousness, and I'm not leaving. 

                                           

And I am crossing my fingers that the folks at Wordless Wednesday will give me one more chance to behave!

And the Winner is...

Everyone!! Now don't go nuts yet... There aren't any car keys hidden under your chair (or cute totes, for that matter).

Yes, everyone wins because: 

1) You will ALL get your name entered into our GRAND PRIZE END-OF-YEAR GIVEAWAY! 

2) If you come back and play next week, you'll get another chance at the weekly prize, and another entry in our GRAND PRIZE END-OF-YEAR GIVEAWAY. 

3) Our featured bloggers all enjoyed higher traffic, with some new followers. 

4) Jay and I made some new friends (or were you just using us to win the bag?).

So, see? It really is a win-win kind of a deal. You don't find that too much anymore.

Now for the good stuff... Through our handy-dandy random number generator, we have selected #29, which is the lovely Joy. If she has the answers to all of our questions, she will win the custom bag from Carissa's Apricot A Lot and will be one of our featured bloggers next week. If NOT (but I have faith in you, Joy. I know you will), we will select again.

Congratulations, Joy! And to the rest of you agents, as well. Now rest up this week, and be prepared for more sleuthing next Monday. Your mission awaits!!

Mission: Monday

Good Morning Blogger Agents.

The agency has uncovered a number of blogs you may not have been following, and we have designed a weekly giveaway around helping you discover some fantastic blogs.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to visit the blogs below, discover their secrets, and report back here. The bloggers featured will be past winners, deserving contributors (see below), or just damn good and hilarious writers worth viewing.

Your reward will be, let us say, substantial. We will offer a weekly prize to one agent, but then every participant will be entered each week into the Grand Prize drawing at the end of the year. Explore early, Explore often, Agents. Riches await.

This week's prize will be a small custom order tote from Carissa's Apricot A Lot, valued at $32, to hold all of your secret agent gadgets. In addition, the winner will have her/his blog used as a feature blog in the next week's Mission!!



To enter the Giveaway, you will be visiting 3 blogs...follow these steps:

Step 1. Fill out a Mr Linky below.


Step 2. Visit each of the following 3 featured blog links, find the answer to the question posted at each blog, and leave a comment on their blog to prove you were there...this is important- we are trying to expose you to great blogs out there, so take the time to have a look around!

Good and Crazy People (Author - Carissa)
Mama's Losin It (Author - Kat)
JillJillBoBill (Author - Jill)

Step 3. What happens then? We will stop taking entries at Midnight on Monday, and then we will draw a winner using a random number generator, and email that person to ask for the answers to the questions. So make sure you are ready! The weekly winner will receive the mentioned prize, and ALL entrants will be entered into the year ending drawing for the BIG prize.


Would you like to have your blog featured on a future "MISSION: Monday"? To have your blog used as one of the 3 featured blogs in coming weeks, you must do a post (not a sidebar button) on "MISSION; Monday", complete with the following banner below. Then drop us an email to let us know you have done so, and we will add your name to the list of blogs to feature...first come first served!

To put a "MISSION: Monday" banner on your blog post, copy and paste the code below into your blog...
<a href="http://dirtysocksandpizza.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i421.photobucket.com/albums/pp291/halftimelessons/mmbanner2.jpg" border="0" alt="MissionMonday" /></a>
and it will look like this:


Want to support "MISSION: Monday" by putting a button on your blog? Copy and paste the code below to your blog...
<a href="http://dirtysocksandpizza.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://i421.photobucket.com/albums/pp291/halftimelessons/mmbutton.jpg" border="0" alt="MissionMonday" /></a>
and it will look like this: