First Post Friday!

My first post wasn't so very long ago. I wrote it last May, but didn't publish it until June or July. The impetus for my blog was to purge all of the crap clogging up my head. I didn't really plan for it to be seen by others, which I guess is weird, but I just didn't have a clue what (and who) would be waiting for me.

Oh, don't get me wrong... I love that people read my blog. I am happy that I can offer comfort or humor or empathy (and the occasional prize) to others.  I have also gained so much from all of you.  I do think I spend too much time complaining and worrying. And sometimes I feel compelled to write for my audience rather than what's on my mind. I would hate to alienate any of you (even more) with the actual garbage that pecks at my brain. Maybe it's that doormat in me, I don't know.

Anyway, here's my very first post. It's strange that I just jumped right in, seemingly in mid-thought, with no preface or intro. But then again, if no one was going to read it, why bother?

So it's time to link up and let us all have a look at your first post. If you really don't want to go there, link up something... an old favorite, one that didn't get too many comments, anything. I've got lots of time on my hands this weekend and I want to get to know you all better.

I Hope He Likes the View... From the Doghouse!

Root Watch 09 is intensifying around here. It's apparent to me that I will have to take some sort of action soon. My root situation is becoming what smart people might call untenable (thank you Merriam's Word of the Day).

So I asked my husband what he thought about me cutting my hair short. And, interestingly enough, this was his honest-to-God reply:

"Hmm... I don't know. I've never seen you with short hair."

"What?" I calmly asked. Oh, I had heard him perfectly well, but I wanted to see if he could possibly dig his hole any deeper.  And, of course, just as I knew he would, he repeated himself. Lord, I love setting a good trap.

And this, my friends, was how the rest of the drama unfolded...

Me: Excuse me?! You've never seen me with short hair? My hair was short when I met you, for crying out loud!

Idiot: uhhh...

Me: My hair was short ON THE DAY WE GOT MARRIED!!!

Idiot: oh.

Me: And, my hair was short when I came home in tears, maniacally insisting you photograph the yellow tiger stripes in my hair as evidence for the lawsuit I intended to file (aka Highlight Disaster of '98). IS THIS RINGING ANY BELLS?!?!

Idiot: ...

Being the nice (and underhanded) person that I am, and knowing perfectly well that I can pull this little gem out of my hat anytime, anyplace, for just about any purpose for the rest of his life, I let it go. After all, this is from the guy who, still to this day, talks about the blue dress I was wearing on that unforgettable night we met. One problem... It was green.

PS: Don't forget to play First Post Friday with me tomorrow. Mr. Linky will hopefully be available first thing in the a.m. Remember, even if you are posting something new, take a minute to drop by and link me to your first post. Oh, and if you want to cheat, as always, you have my blessing. 

Mark Your Calendars

I've got exciting news! The annoying and high-maintenance half of my family is going to be gone all weekend, so we are talking major free time for me.  Once Moody Teen and the Absent-minded Professor are out the door, sweet Mr. Beans will be easy to ditch.  I just have to agree to a sleepover, order Chinese take-out, make sure the basement is stocked with video games, mountain dew and brownies (and maybe some porn. JUST KIDDING), and I'll be flyin' solo for nearly 60 hours.  

What to do with myself? Normally, I would put on my PJs and read every celebrity gossip magazine known to mankind, while eating ice cream, watching indy flicks and painting my toenails. I will probably have time for all of that, and more! So I have hatched a plan...

I want to get to know all of you wünderbloggers (who's the umlaut queen now, Em?) a little better, and now is my chance. I will actually have time to read and contemplate all of your profound, funny, poignant and Nyquil-inspired posts, instead of flying through them while burning dinner and yelling at the kids.

Well, since we all just adore alliteration here in Blogland, I have masterminded a special one-time event for Friday... First Post Friday!! My plan is to have everyone re-post their very first post ever, so we can all get a glimpse of where we were, compared to where we are. Doesn't that sound fun (and easy)? I have been following so many of you for a while now, but never have had the time to start from the beginning. 

So Friday morning, I will have a Linky up (God willing!). It would be fun if everyone re-posted their first posts, with maybe a little narrative, but I know some of you have regularly scheduled Friday features. But maybe if you do already have a new post planned, you can stop by and link me straight to your very first post, without re-posting it.

Won't you play along for little ol' soon-to-be-bored-and-happy-about-it me?

Tuesday's Tribute: I Heart the DMV!

author's note: Below is my attempt to corral some good karma. This is Plan A. Plan B will involve me going on the lamb and assuming a new identity. Don't worry, I'll be in touch...

Don't you just love the DMV? It is so obvious that their HR department hand picks each employee based on his sunny disposition, knowledge of state law, and people skills. In fact, I have so much fun there, I don't mind the occasional long wait (which always seems to just fly by). I really love it when I am told, despite being previously told otherwise, that I will need my great-grandmother's cousin's original social security card, causing me countless hours of searching and a return trip (yay!). It's just icing on the cake when I do finally return with the document in question, only to be told I never needed it in the first place! Co-workers contradicting each other rocks, especially when I am short on time and have a moody kid (or two) with me. If you haven't had the privilege of visiting the DMV lately, you don't know what you're missing!

PS: Did I mention that I have been driving around on an expired license since May and Moody Teen is due to get his learner's permit in two weeks? I have a feeling I may be darkening their door soon.

---

Yet Another Jay and Deb Production.
To participate in Tuesday's Tribute, Fill out a Mr. Linky below with your name and URL address to your Tribute. Need a details, or a button? Go Here.

Inaugural Kiss Off

Now don't get me wrong... I don't need or want to lose any weight. I'm just jumping on board because I want to support my gal pal, Tena. I actually like being 20 lbs. overweight for a couple of reasons:

First, it keeps the boy toys from constantly hitting on me, making my husband feel more secure. Yes, I stay fat for my husband. Aren't I nice?

Second, when I am 20 lbs overweight, I can only fit into one pair of jeans and one or two tops. This cuts down on the decision making process when getting dressed. Being overweight is a time saver!

But, despite my excellent reasons for keeping my extra insulation, I am going to get fit, shed the weight and look fab by the end of May. 

I didn't step foot in the gym all weekend, nor did I hit the treadmill gathering dust in my basement. I ate pretty much everything in sight. However, today, I have done well. A cheese sandwich on lo-cal bread, yogurt and my good ol' diet standby, Cheerios with 2 packets of Splenda. Yum.

My plan for this week is to lay off the sweets, stick to my exercising, and drink lots of water. I know my mood will sour, my head will start to hurt and no one will want to be around me. I am due to get my period in a week, so by Wednesday, I should be full on PMS-ing. I know, I know... I can't wait, either.

Until next week, my dears, when I should be less bloated and on the road to being nice again. Maybe. 

And Tena, thanks for motivating me. If this actually works, I will come over to your house and kiss those uncrusty, beautiful (and skinny) feet of yours.

Honoring Tuesday: Wagie Ride Down Memory Lane

I knew a wagie ride with my uncooperative crew would be difficult, to say the least. But there was no way I wasn't going to participate in honoring Tuesday and her family. So I sat down with my box of old photos to search for anything with a wagon in it. Before long, my little Mr. Beans climbed up on the bed with me and started thumbing through our boxful of memories. To be all of 12, he didn't recognize too much of what we were looking at. So I began to tell him the stories behind the pictures. The memories that I hold so dear. It was a rare moment of that elusive 'quality time' that we all need to recharge our hearts and feed our souls. 

Anyway, a simple but heartfelt prayer is in my heart for Tuesday and her family, and I thank them for showing us what pure, unfiltered love looks like. 

Six Word Saturday: Join the Parade

Celebrate   life  in  honor  of   Tuesday.